I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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