i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
