were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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