tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
