Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
