how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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