someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
