your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
3pm strippers are depressing
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
