how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
