I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
the day after is always just damage control
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
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