we have officially lost it.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
