Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize