Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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