he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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