you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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