Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
