My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
