tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
