I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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