Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
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... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
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I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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