I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
