She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
