I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
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