The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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