And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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