he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
