I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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