He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
