other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Will exercising make me less horny?
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