omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
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