Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
