I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
