Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
