YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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