I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Randomize