i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
There r osticjed everywhere
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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