I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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