Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
