What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
