I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
