i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
