just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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