it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
