I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Every concussion has its silver lining
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
