too bad you live with your parents still
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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