her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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