The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Is it because I queefed?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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