My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
