I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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