Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
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We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
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Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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