At least make sure they are 18
Why
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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