C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
