we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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