You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
what day is it and did you see me today?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
