Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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