can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
