No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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