bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
