No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
