He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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