Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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