Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
