You work out of a Hotel?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
