Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Welp...herpes.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
