Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
