I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize