Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize
