I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
