I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
