Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
