yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
