I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize