A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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