yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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